


It's Everything You Ever Want

by hovercraft



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Original Character(s), fanservant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:42:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27975312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hovercraft/pseuds/hovercraft
Summary: Ritsuka encounters a new Foreigner in a singularity pitting servants against one another for the entertainment of beings not seen.Or, an introduction to a fan-servant I made.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 9





	It's Everything You Ever Want

Ritsuka didn’t know what to make of it.

This circus of nightmares— this big-top tent was nothing more than a torture chamber that messed with the heads of everyone inside of it. All of her servants had gone in to find the source of the singularity and each one of them had turned on each other in the process. It was some kind of poison— Mash and Ritsuka were resistant to it, but it drove the other servants insane— looking at one another as foes would and fighting to de-materialization. It had already taken Ritsuka so long to reach the ringmaster— they had to fight through waves of Noble Phantasms to get there, Mash’s shield barely holding out.

The only reason Gilgamesh had stayed by their side was that he demanded— and Ritsuka complied— that she use Rain of Isis on him so that he could make it to the mastermind himself. That awful poison had turned Enkidu and Ozymandias against him, and he’d had no choice but to put them down with all of his strength— knowing they’d materialize back in Chaldea safe and sound mitigated the pain, but it annoyed him thoroughly to have someone pick at his old wounds. No one would get away with such an insult.

And there she was.

With a wide dress and a wider smile, the ringmaster curtsied before the three of them.

“At least with Sherlock dead, I won’t have anyone making a show of solving my secret identity,” She said somewhat smugly, though Mash was less than impressed.

“Your secret identity?”

“Sure! Aren’t you dying to know who’s got that golden cup you want so bad? Who pit your historical pets against one another? Or is it just an irrelevant detail to mowing me down? I don’t really care either way.”

“You’re right,” Ritsuka said, firmly. “I don’t care who you are, I just care about stopping you,” Ritsuka paused. “And how dare you call them my _pets_.”

“Ahhh…” The ringmaster pulled the whip in her hands tight, admiring Ritsuka’s fiery resolve. “I like that. No questions, no bullshit. Even as your little darlings die around you, nothing is phasing you from ripping out the root of the problem! See, Master of Chaldea, I’m not targeting you because of some silly vendetta a bunch of pillars have or some mastermind put me up to it. You’re the one person with a menagerie of fighters suitable for my show. For my _guests_.”

With that, the top of the tent blew away, to an open sky of black with little white stars dotting it. Only…

“Senpai…” Mash murmured, pointing up.

They weren’t stars at all.

They were thousands upon thousands of eyes.

“I—”

“My guests aren’t satisfied with lions leaping through flaming hoops. They want to see the best of humanity compete like dogs fighting in a ring. Not out of malice, but fascination. To see you all do your _special moves_ and your advantages and weaknesses. To see old grudges and deep friendships—” She glanced at Gilgamesh. “Live or perish in the ring. Watching it myself has been quite a treat. I’m used to entertaining in one way, but to be a referee in an endless deathmatch between the strongest people alive…! It really gets your blood pumping.”

“Disgusting, so you’re nothing more than an overpowered shill for a bunch of gods.” Gilgamesh spat.

“I never said they were gods. Observers and I live to entertain them. Really, that’s the only reason— they said to become a Foreigner or taste the dust of the afterlife, and I never pass up a good deal.”

A Foreigner. That was never good. Bringing along Gilgamesh and not Melt, who was in the throes of fighting her sisters, seemed like a bad idea in retrospect, but the man had insisted.

“Whatever they are, it doesn’t change that you’re nothing more than the kind of trash who arranges dog fights for sadists. A monster who only cares so long as their pockets are lined.”

“Ooh, you have me all figured out. King of Heroes, do you have enough **dead friends**? Is that why you’re so mad?”

Something about that phrasing was so deeply _irritating_.

“But yeah, you’re not wrong. I did it in life and now I’m doing it as part of a sacred afterlife situation. Can you really not guess who I am…?”

“A ringleader with a penchant for cruelty… you don’t think she could be—?”

“… P.T. Barnum?”

At that, the young woman’s grin grew wider. “So you guys aren’t total idiots. That’s nice to know. That’ll make this more fun.”

As P.T. cracked her whip, the world around them began to distort until the battleground inside the tent disappeared to make room for a fight among the stars, every one of those light-like eyes on them. It was just the King, the Shielder, and their weak but remarkable master. She held her chin on the back of her hand, sitting on a throne of tentacles weaving their way into a wriggling chair for her. Drums rumbled in the distance almost comically to signify the start of the final battle.

“Will I live, or will I die again? Will this Holy Grail be stripped from me, or will I succeed where literal gods failed? Do you hear that, everyone?” She stood from her throne, looking up at the eyes watching her eagerly. “Will goodness prevail, or will my show go on forever? I don’t care anymore, this is the round you’ve been waiting for! Let’s begin! It’s _showtime_!”

—

Of course, she wouldn’t win.

As strong as she was, with the backing of Foreign Gods and observers to the world, she would perish with a smile on her face, with numerous blades sticking from her body, still giving the final bow to her observers. When Ritsuka claimed the Holy Grail and the servants slowly regained their sanity, returning to Chaldea and reuniting with everyone who’d been “killed” was a relief in and of itself. Apologies were shared, but Ritsuka had a feeling, a feeling that couldn’t be abated until she went to the summoning circle.

With three quartz in hand, she recited the right words, and out came the ringleader in red.

“… it was a gamble, wasn’t it?” She boasted. “I could have closed my eyes forever, and yet, you knew I was reaching out to you all the same. Hello, Master. I hope I can entertain you as well as I do the Foreign Gods.”

There was usually a … difference, between servants who were evil in their singularities and servants who were summoned in their right state of mind, but Ritsuka could sense no difference between the two. This girl was scummy, through and through, and only was here so they could cheat death and continue cheating lots of things.

“Are you going to cause problems?” Ritsuka asked, stressed already.

“On purpose? Moi?” She made a little gesture to herself. “Never. Not unless someone brings the problem to me.”

“… I would dematerialize if I were you. Everyone’s so happy that we finally killed you that they wouldn’t take well to seeing you again.”

“Oh, I _welcome_ the challenge. I want to make friends! Especially with you. I serve you, I get a front seat to the craziest life the world has ever seen. And Master…?”

“Yes?”

“I will never bore you.”

With that smirk, P.T. left the room, introducing herself cheerfully to a room full of servants who immediately were furious to see her. Ritsuka could hear the sounds of chairs scuffing and yelling already, and that behavior was probably what entertained P.T. most of all. Getting a rise out of others, putting on a show for whoever may still be watching…

Ritsuka looked over her shoulder, wondering if someone was watching before leaving the room, finding no one behind her.

**Author's Note:**

> [Here's the servant art and write-up!](https://firsthassan.tumblr.com/post/637019298299330560/servant-pt-barnum) I just love her so much, I had to write something about her. She's the worst!


End file.
